The Consolidated Entries 2005


19 June 2005

Fine. So shoot me. I've been busy for the past couple of years and haven't really kept up with IHOS as I should.

Part of the problem involves the utter lack of things happening in our neighborhood anymore. The Brent Road party has been pretty well shut down. The apartment complex next door has moved in a bunch of real students, families, and apparent refugees from various war zones around the world. And we have moved the bulk of the IHOS activities to the back deck; it's kinda difficult to see much when trying to look through a house.

So I've been slack. There are a couple of things, though, that need updating.

1. Choada Boy and the Hootered One spawned another offspring since we last spoke. They named him something weird and preppy just like the first one so we now call them Chuck and Chuck Deux (or for the less Contentinal -- Du.) Dave has also spawned. That whole incident is so frightening that I don't want to even think about it so I'll leave it at that. I just hope the kid manages to get his mother's ass since Dave still has none. Finally, Jim has spawned again. Perhaps I have already mentioned this in previous years, but I'm too lazy to go and look it up right now. Jim and Leigh now have three spawns, the youngest of which is terribly frightening from a behavioral standpoint. If you even hear a high-pitched screeching noise it is either a flying, screeching thing or Pheobe; there's no way to tell the difference.

2. All the Barnacle Brothers have managed to graduate from college. None have real jobs as of yet, but there is hope. Fortunately for all of them, their respective families own their own businesses so they can ride for a while. Eventually, though, they will be out in the real world, each exemplifying the Peter Principle in their own special ways. The only exception to this involves Corkey. Corkey is presently doing some kind of internship in the panhandle of Florida constructing a grouse habitat so that folks can come by and kill them.By the way, did you know that it is illegal to spread corn while in waiting for ducks to fly by? Just ask Zack.

3. There is a mockingbird who has made a nest in the bush directly next to our front door. Yesterday she had two birds. Today she has one. Last night Oberon, the neighborhood cat from next door, decided to have a midnight snack and gobbled one of the baby birds. Given the look on his face, baby birds are apparently rather tasty. Mommy bird is now losing her mind, what little she had to begin with, and is attempting to peck the eyes out of anything that approaches the front yard. This is gonna get interesting over the next couple of days given that our cars are parked on the driveway located in the front yard. I really need to purchase a tennis racket this weekend.

4. I met some really nice folks tonight at an accident site involving a motorcycle. The motorcycle was on one side of the street and the remains of the motorcycle rider were on the other. They were some very nice folks, but unfortunately I did not get their names. Hopefully they will read this and send me an email. They will be welcome additions to the IHOS gang. He's a programmer; she's a frustrated bank teller who wants to go into forensic science; both are morbidly twisted. They will fit right in.

5. We've finally done enough to the house that I am willing to unveil the results. Ignore the roof with the mold. A new roof is slated for next year. Of course, we said the same thing about the new front deck for this year and that didn't happen either. Here are the latest shots of IHOS.

6. Val has fallen in love with baseball. She, of course, is a Mets fan, but she also loves minor leagues. She is still learning the rules and terminology, however. In fact, she was thrilled the first time she saw an in-the-park triple. I corrected her as soon as I stopped laughing.

Well, that's about it for this entry. Don't get your hopes up about seeing anything regular since not much happens anymore. But if anything monumentous occurs, I will surely post it.


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